For most of you who know me well, I'm a fairly private person. No need to blab things that don't need blabbing. So you can only imagine how mortified I was when my FIRST and LAST name show up on our towns OVERPASS in the BIGGEST, most GIGANTIC letters you've ever seen. But that's not the worst part. . . it is what follows. . . Imagine if you will the words "IS PREGNANT!"
I'm not mortified of the truth. . . only its presentation. Let's go back a few months . . .
I'm getting
harassed daily by my friend Jodi. "When are you coming to basketball? When are you coming to basketball? When are you coming to basketball?" I admit, I had taken a rather sudden leave of
absence . . . but really were all the questions necessary?
So I let Jodi in on the big secret.
Baconbit #6 is on its way. Something about racing to the bathroom, dry heaving, and just overwhelming
nausea didn't seem to mesh with 6 a.m. basketball. Not to mention that this time around the only decent sleep i get is from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m.
Immediately Jodi gets this sparkle in her eye and asks, "Can I tell people for my birthday? I could CALL (yes she said
CALL!) Kerri and Jessy and your Mom. . . It would be the best Birthday Present Ever!"
Who asks for that for their birthday? But I was game. . . we weren't going to tell the boys until Spring Break. . . what were a few extra days.
Warning bells. Warning bells. Warning bells. A) Jodi's Birthday is April 9
th. That would take me almost to six months. Now, granted, I can suck it in with the best of them (the perks of being tall and 20 lbs over weight) . . . but 6 months? I knew that by not telling people, they would be in that dilemma thinking "Is
Steph pregnant or just getting fat. . ." Great. And then there was B) Have any of you seen Maya and Miguel on PBS kids? You know whenever Maya gets a great idea and her pony tail holder does that flash thing. . . it means that Maya thinks her idea is great but more than likely it is just a bit of trouble. Maya=Jodi. I should have made that connection sooner.
So the months pass. And with the help of a cold Alaskan Winter and Bulky Clothing, I've got the average passerby
duped into thinking I'm just fat.
Nothing could have prepared me for April 9
th. Did I mention big black letters. . . the towns major thoroughfare. . . first AND last name. . . Mortified. Absolutely Mortified. Happy Birthday Jodi. I hope it was the BEST birthday present EVER because next year I'm sticking with a cake and balloons.